Unexplained Confidence

So here I am, I have taken the plunge and become a blogger. I always thought it might be hard. I mean, what do you write about? So I figured I would write about what I know best, running. Particularly, my running.

Based on this indoor season’s performances, I should not be all that confident in my chances going into the Big Sky Conference Indoor Track and Field Championships. I kicked off the new year with a nasty sickness I believe to have been pneumonia, and it has been an uphill struggle from there (side note, if you say, “it has been all down hill from there” that implies that things have gotten worse. If you say, “it has been an uphill struggle from there,” that also implies that it has gotten worse. Hills get a bad rep in the world of reference. Which way are we supposed to go when we come to a hill? What do you think?) Admittedly, in hind sight, I realize I came back to quickly. I realize every fiber of my body was trying to tell me to back off, but I didn’t want to lose the significant fitness I had built over the summer and through the Cross Country season. After battling some inflammation in my quads and knees, a nagging heel injury, and an airway that closes up like a pair of Chinese handcuffs all culminating in a pedestrian 8:57 3000m I realized I would have to re-assess my indoor goals. However, things did not get better from there. A series of less-than-acceptable performances, the most notable being an 8:34 3000m at the Mountain States Games which got me into the Big Sky Championships (though not automatically,) and workouts that were even bigger train wrecks, my confidence should be shot.

However, it is not, I will not say that it hasn’t been, on the contrary if this blog were written a week ago I would be raving about how bad things were going. I will not hash out the boring details, but some blood work, a close look at my diet, a BIG cut in mileage, and I feel better.

While I don’t think I had “depression” per se. I will admit I have been in a depressed state for most of 2013. This largely in part because my running was not going well, and my body was constantly reminding me of how bad running hurt. I think that sometimes when we are in these states, we don’t realize until afterwards. It is like when you are inside at dusk when day is just turning to night, and you don’t realize how dark it was getting until you flip on a light.

Perhaps it is the diet change, perhaps the large cut in mileage and workload, but in just a week I feel I have rounded a corner. I even had a good workout on Tuesday, which lead to a rather excited tweet. https://twitter.com/johnjhcoyle.

All in all, while nothing has really gone that great this indoor season, and I am certainly not high in the rankings. I feel calm, cool, collected and confident going into this weekends Big Sky Indoor Track and Field Championships. Perhaps it is the sense of coming out of the darkness, perhaps it is the fact that the expectations for me are low, and any points I score are like a free t-shirt, perhaps it is the fact that I am only running one a race, a race that the majority of the field won’t be fresh for, but I am confident in my ability to run with almost anyone in the conference.

Maybe, I don’t deserve it, but I have an unexplained confidence

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One thought on “Unexplained Confidence

  1. Pingback: 3000 Tentative Meters | johncoylerunblog

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